Miscommunication. Abrasive Talk. Flippant Behavior. Mistrust.
We are living in interesting times.
Last week a friend and I reconciled after not speaking for a month. Why had we stopped communicating? Because I had failed to respond to a couple texts inviting me to hang out and she had decided I was no longer interested in the friendship.
Over several weeks her silence was deafening.
And if she hadn’t been willing to finally tell me what it was I’d done (or not done) we might still not be talking.
And we’ve been friends for nearly twenty years.
Imagine ending a friendship of 20 years over a couple of texts.
I wish this example were an isolated one. But it’s not.
I’m convinced more than ever that something corrosive is afoot in our culture. Something is eating away at the fundamental oxygen of relationships: trust. Without trust, we cannot hope to maintain any relationships — be they friendships, romantic attachments, neighbors, acquaintances, business partners, etc. etc.
I’m convinced more than ever that something corrosive is afoot in our culture. Something is eating away at the fundamental oxygen of relationships: trust.
At the fundamental core of who we are to each other is a trust that we matter — on some level. Without being able to trust that we do actually matter to each other, all relationships break down.
So what’s going on?
Think about social media.
What is it?
It’s a sanitized presentation of ourselves, one that we understand will be forever indelible and public. For once something is posted online it can never truly fully be erased.
Imagine trying to sustain a friendship, an actual real-world relationship, if the only means of communication afforded the two of you were two billboards on opposite sides of a busy highway. You could tell your friend you love him but only by painting it onto the billboard. He could love you back, but again, the message would have to be public, available for all the passing cars and trucks to see and read if they happen to want to.
What do you imagine this might do to your relationship?
Think Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck.
Beginning June 1, 2023 and continuing with a new post every Thursday afternoon for as long as it takes, I’ll be unfurling my wandering web of arguments in support of a global decoupling from social media.
Please take a look and join in the conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
